I knew it from the beginning: Me amniotic-sheen on celandine yellow, Topped with a bandleader's black oil smear, An oriental-looking taunt, to vaunt my untimed arrival, In the teeth of prejudice and loneliness of a youth, Forced prematurely into man, soldier and father, And the orange heat of jealousy, that singes all in range Not the best greetings, I think I thought, for a new-borne burden, needing much. But need was also strong in the soldier, Arm pierced by a clean-through bullet, Sharp pain and age-old fear suffered in solitude, For soft and wrapping arms are rare, Where men foregather for the killing game. An exclusion that's noticed, I felt, he thought, Is an exclusion shared, doubled through, A shrapnel through the sapling, splitting root, And need was more than love in the soldier, Heart pierced by a helpless rival, With pain and primal fear, confused by parenthood, For good and loving thoughts are rare, Where men have rivals that they should not kill. A war that's ended, still brings, I saw, A new confusion birthed, a conflict forced, A cropping from the shellfield, blasting ripe, And force meant more than right in the soldier, A blitzkrieg on the passive civvy, Where pain and helpless fear, inflicted unopposed, Chase sweet and loving thoughts away, And leave a crater where the heart should be. © kfg moore
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